One smile changed my life. One smile of longing and desire saturated me.
One smile grabbed my fleeting feet and pulled me towards a door reserved just for me.
Darkness and blindness overtook me and now I’m losing sight of direction.
I’m losing sight of me.
I reach out for an escape, a key…anything to help me flee.
Then I hear that smile say “I have the key. It’s just out of your reach”.
I stop.
I crawl.
I reach out.
I’m lost.
My smile. The smile reserved just for me persuasively repeats:
“This key.”
“This key depends on you, which depends on me.”
“Your only way out is to seek happiness in my inadequacies.”
I can’t do this, but I need that smile.
I want to smile.
No! I need to escape!
One. Two. Three. Breathe.
I Messed Up.
I’m sitting in a room full of strangers looking around at a pain.
A pain I thought was only reserved for me.
I see joy. I see confusion. I see comfort in a pair of eyes directed at me.
Those eyes give me peace. Peace that soon escapes me. It’s fleeting and those eyes now remind me – you’re not worthy of the love you seek. What do I do? Where do I go?
A light touch on my knee pushes me to proceed. A touch that reminds me it's time to begin my journey through the misery.
I can’t do this, but I need to.
I don’t want to.
Can I do this? Am I ready?
One. Two. Three. Breathe.
I Messed Up.
Headlines read “History Repeats Itself”, and the words don’t even phase me.
It’s a headline I’ve read a thousand times before, but I’m the master of my own destiny.
A headline can’t tell me where I’m going or who I’m about to be.
History hasn’t seen my journey.
I know who I am!
I won’t be her!
I won’t be the person I used to be.
Patterns develop and consequences surface…
I need to find help. I have to find help!
Where is that headline that warned me to…
One. Two. Three. Breathe.
I Messed Up.
It’s too late…
Sitting in dark room, pain has encased me and I’m resting my head on despair.
Darkness then succumbs to a light that highlights the sins of my history, and I’m now standing outside looking in at a reel of my past miseries.
My loneliness. My Agony. Every moment has me now questioning my decisions.
Please someone...anyone…“What must I do? Please end my suffering!”
He Then Tells Me:
Child, I hear your pain and it’s all for my glory.
You needed to hear my voice, but the worldly desires called your name and became a priority.
I've been through your pain! I've been through your agony!
You hurt me when you turned to leave, AND as I watched you fight your way back to me.
What you haven't realized though is that I never left you. You were never alone.
Open and your eyes and realize...you're stronger than you've ever been before!
Did you feel me pull you from the blackness when you couldn’t find the key?
Did you feel my hand on your knee when I told you everything was going to be alright?
Did you feel me pulling you into the light when darkness was submerging you into your history?
Did you feel the peace come over you when you were kneeling and pleading to breathe?
Did you hear me say, “Child, It’s Me.” when the waterfalls of pain washed you clean?
Do you feel that? It's my love!
Welcome home. You're back where you should be.
Hope and joy will soon surpass your darkest memories.
Just remember,
Thanksgiving is all I require.
Thanksgiving is all I require.
History will not repeat itself when you strive to be more like me!
Come My Child. It's time.
Come My Child. It's time.
It's time to...
One. Two. Three.
Breathe!
One. Two. Three.
Breathe!
Inspired by: 2 Corinthians 1
